Man of Steel

(Two apologies before I begin today. First, this is gonna be a long one, so hold onto your butts. Second, no images today, as I was having a lot of issues getting screen shots.)

Greetings, citizens! Today it’s Thanksgiving in the U.S. a day where everyone is supposed to give thanks for the joys in their life. Well, today I’m thankful that I never have to watch this movie again.

I’ve been wanting to do a review of Man of Steel for awhile now. Hell, this was actually the first piece of non-comic media that I wanted to do a review for, back when I was deciding to do this blog. Why did I put it off for so long? Well, given that I have a strong negative opinion of this movie, and just about all the positive reviews for stuff I’ve done have been Marvel, I didn’t want it to seem like I just don’t like DC. While I still prefer Marvel, I do really like a lot of DC’s characters, and have been sampling a bunch of titles of theirs the past few weeks, with a lot of success. So, expect to see some DC positive attention paid to DC in the future. Until then though, let’s talk about the cinematic abomination that is Man of Steel.

Work on Man of Steel began in 2008, when Warner Bros. started looking into doing another Superman movie, the idea eventually turning into a reboot of the franchise. They took pitches from some of the biggest name writers that they had access to, including Geoff Johns, Mark Millar, and Grant Morrison. Eventually though, they decided on the story that we ended up with, created by Christopher Nolan and David S. Goyer.

I’m not quite sure what went wrong with the film though. Nolan and Goyer did excellent work with the Dark Knight trilogy. Director Zack Snyder’s movies haven’t exactly been fantastic, but they were visually quite interesting. What happened? Did these guys just have their talent sucked from their bodies during production? Did someone at Marvel make a deal with Mephisto? I’ve got no idea. I was hoping to listen to commentary from the makers of the movie, but unfortunately the copy I rented had no special features on it.

But, enough background. May as well get this over with.

The movie begins with Kal El’s birth, followed by Jor El telling the ruling council of Krypton that the planet is going to be destroyed. Unlike in the comics where Krypton was destroyed by Brainiac, this Krypton is going to die because the Kryptonians harvested the planet’s core in order to solve their energy crisis. So, we’re not even 5 minutes into the movie, and I’m already baffled by utter stupidity. What sort of morons harvest a planet’s core for energy, especially when they are presented with alternatives? Jor El points out one during the scene, saying that there are habitable planets within reach. They’ve clearly known about the problem for awhile, since coring a planet must take some time, so why did they not try finding a new world to inhabit? Or harvest another planet’s core? Was there no oversight committee for this immensely stupid plan?

I am assuming that this is supposed to serve as an allegory for our own energy problems, and how we’re being short sighted and stuff. Except that we actually do have people trying to find other uses, and our planet won’t freaking implode if we don’t. So, it’s either heavy-handed and poorly executed allegory, or it’s intense levels of idiocy. Either way it makes for a bad plot point.

But before we can dwell too long on how Kryptonians have moroned themselves towards an apocalypse, we get introduced to our villain, general Zod. Zod rightfully thinks that the council have been nothing but a bunch of worthless morons and attempts a coup. He asks Jor El to help him save his people, but Jor El thinks that Zod would pick and choose which bloodlines live. Yeah, apparently Kryptonians in this version don’t birth children and just clone them, which is another stupid plot point. Doesn’t cloning take more energy than birthing children would? Doesn’t it also mean that as a species, they’re going to be stagnant?

Anyway, Jor El escapes and Zod’s forces give chase. Jor El manages to steal the codex, which contains the genetic makeup of every Kryptonian, and also drives the plot forward for the rest of the movie. He takes it back to his home, where he and his wife prep the ship to take Kal to Earth, but not before imbuing him with the codex, somehow. Here’s two more baffling plot points; why is the ship not big enough for Kal’s parents, and why did Jor El turn Kal into the codex? We never get any kind of explanation either of these. From my understanding of the comics, Krypton’s destruction came on much more suddenly, so Jor El only had enough time to construct a small vessel. But he clearly had a lot of time in this, so why not make it big enough for him and his wife?

Back with the “plot” Zod comes in, demands the codex, and he and Jor El fight. In spite of Zod being a highly trained and skilled warrior, he’s beaten pretty handily by a scientist. I’d complain more about the fight, but it’s probably the best one in the whole movie. However, Jor El gets distracted by the majesty of sending his son off to live by himself on a world where he’ll be an outsider, and Zod stabs him. For some reason, Jor El isn’t angry or upset by being stabbed, merely mildly surprised.

Zod orders his forces to shoot the ship down, but in an ironic twist, the council’s forces shoot down the ship that was to do the shooting. We see Zod and his lackeys get sentenced to spend some time in the Phantom Zone, and then Krypton explodes.

We briefly see Kal’s ship landing, but who cares about that? We need to see some Deadliest Catch! It’s now 33 years later, and Kal (henceforth referred to as either Clark or Supes) is working on a fishing boat. The boat gets contacted about an oil rig that’s going to explode and they head there. By the time they arrive though, the Coast Guard is telling them that the rig’s gonna blow and that the men still there are dead. Clark figures there’s still something he can do though, and goes off to save the day, which he does. However he gets blasted into the water, and we see our first Jesus shot, because who doesn’t love heavy-handed symbolism?

This is where the plot decides to slow way the hell down, and also stop progressing in a linear fashion. We start jumping back and forth between the present and Clark’s past. The only noteworthy thing about his past is in how his adoptive father tells him to use his power. Or rather, how he tells him to not use it. Yep, Jonathan Kent tells Clark to not help people, because that might bring attention to him. This is a change that I’ve heard a lot of people complain about, and rightfully so. Jonathan and Martha Kent are supposed to serve as the foundation upon which Clark built his morals, which is why he chooses to be Superman. In this though, he chooses to good because… it’s encoded in his DNA? We don’t know. I mean, yeah people can choose to do good for any number of reasons, but we never get any kind of inclination as to why Clark does. Hell, he got bullied a lot as a kid, it wouldn’t surprise me if he had become a villain.

Oh, also, Jonathan dies in a tornado. Clark could’ve helped, but Jon told him not to.

In the present time, Clark hears about some sort of weird investigation going on in the arctic, so he decides to see what that is. Of course a reporter from the Daily Planet is sent to do a story on this, even though it seems like the government is trying to keep it a secret. Who is this reporter? Why, none other than Lois Lane of course. At night, while she’s taking photos (in spite of the -40 degree temperature and lack of light), she spots Clark going for the site and follows him. Turns out that the thing that the government is investigating is a Kryptonian ship that’s twenty thousand years old. Clark finds his way onto the ship and inserts the AI thing from his ship into it. So wait, Kryptonian technology didn’t advance for twenty thousand years? Looks like I was right about their stagnation. A defense robot shoots Lois, but Clark destroys it and cauterizes her wound with his heat vision. The ship then activates, and we see Lois dropped off on a glacier or something. She then starts investigating who Clark is, while Clark talks to a hologram of Jor El.

So Clark learns about his heritage, and also gets his suit. Apparently, it’s not an S on his chest, but the Kryptonian symbol for hope, because that’s totally plausible and not contrived. Lois gets a bunch of accounts of Clark and goes to his dad’s grave. Conveniently, after getting his costume and learning about his heritage, he goes to his dad’s grave.  They talk, and Lois decides to abandon the story she wrote accusing him of being an alien. Too bad she already had it published online though.

Anyway, Clark goes to see his mom and while there, Zod hacks into Earth’s communication systems and broadcasts a message, asking for Clark to be turned over to him. The military takes Lois into custody, in order to try and find Clark. Clark uses the power of plot convenience to know all of this, and also know exactly which military base to go to.  He has a dull, meaningless conversation with Lois before agreeing to be turned over to Zod.

Zod sends a ship to pick up Clark, but they also demand Lois to be taken as well. Why? Well, you see, they uh… Obviously they uh… Why the hell do they want Lois? Do they know about her article? If they do, why do they care? Because she’s close to Clark? So is his mom, but they don’t bother to demand her either. Other than for the sake of the plot, what is the reason for grabbing Lois? Ugh, this movie makes my brain sad. So Clark and Lois are brought onto the ship, but not before Clark hands off the codex to Lois, because of course they won’t search her, since they’re not highly trained soldiers or anything. Clark meets Zod, but then collapses because he’s not accustomed to Kryptonian atmosphere. That would make sense, if he’d collapsed right after getting onto the ship, instead of having to wait to be brought to the bridge.

So while Clark’s unconscious, Zod and him have a conversation in Clark’s mindscape or something. How are they doing this? When we see Clark wake up, he’s not hooked up to anything, and we haven’t seen Kryptonians displaying any kind of psychic powers? Maybe it’s just part of Clark’s plot convenience related powers. We get a bunch of plot exposition about how Zod got here (which I’m skipping because it’s pointless). Anyway, Zod wants the codex so they can start cloning Kryptonians, and he’s going to use a terraforming thing called a world engine to turn Earth into a new Krypton, wiping out all life on Earth in the process.

So Supes is captured, and they throw Lois into a holding cell. Conveniently though, the cell has a port for her to stick the codex in, and she does so despite not knowing what the hell the thing is. Hologram Jor El appears and seems to know exactly where he is and what’s going on. Oh, and he can control the ship’s systems, because why would the ship have any sort of safety protocols for preventing unauthorized AI’s access to vital systems? That’d be intelligent, and Kryptonians have failed to demonstrate basic common sense. Holo Jor El brings the ship back into Earth’s atmosphere, thus re-energizing Supes, and allowing him and Lois to affect an escape. And here we have Jesus imagery #2, because subtlety is lame.

Lois and Supes get back to Earth okay, but Zod’s gone to the Kent farm to find the codex. He doesn’t find it, and is about to do some terrible stuff to Clark’s mom, but Clark flies in and saves the day, pummeling Zod into town. However, Zod’s flunkies grab him before Supes can beat on him some more, so instead we have a fight scene between Zod’s two lieutenants. I’m sure they have names, but considering that’s about all they have, I’m not bothering to try and find out what they are.

And here we have one of my major complaints. At it’s heart, this is supposed to be an actiony movie. I can forgive plot holes and bad acting if I just want a dumb action movie (I usually don’t, but that’s not the point). The problem is that I expect the action to be good, and this shit is… well, shit. The effects have a unique visual style, and by unique I mean bad. The movements all look like they’d be more at home in a fighting game, than as the focal piece of a summer blockbuster by a huge film studio about one of the most iconic characters in the world. I don’t quite know how to describe it, it’s like none of the textures quite match up to the ones of the actual things we see on screen. The movements also feel just too fluid. I’ve not seen effects so bad that they took me out of an action scene like this since Blade 2.

They fight, the military gets involved but accomplish nothing, more fighting, dear lord this is tedious. The Kryptonians retreat, because one of them gets knocked unconscious by a missile, and the military commander guy declares that Clark’s not a bad guy. Clark goes back to check on his mom, but we’re saved from actually having an emotional moment by Lois advancing the plot some more. She says she knows how to beat them, because apparently Holo Jor El told her how to.

Before we can find out though, we cut back to Zod and his people, who have learned that the codex is in fact within Clark all along. The genetic code of a billion Kryptonians is within Clark’s cells. I’m not a biologist, but I don’t think that DNA works that way. I could be wrong, but considering all of the other bullshit that this movie includes, I’m willing to trust my knowledge of biology over the filmmakers. So, since they don’t need Supes alive, they launch the world engine and start terraforming the planet. One part of it goes to the Indian Ocean, the other goes to Metropolis for the sake of plot convenience.

Conveniently, Lois and Clark arrive at the military base right after this and cobble together a plan to use Clark’s old ship to send Zod and his people back to the Phantom Zone. While they begin enacting the plan, Zod goes to get that old scout ship that was found in the artic, since that has the cloning chamber that they’ll need. Supes goes after the part of the world engine in the ocean, and has to fight a bunch of microbots in a much less believable fashion than Big Hero 6. He manages to blow it up though, which means that Lois and the military can blow up the other part. Um, why did Supes have to do his one first? And why is Lois there? She’s a freaking civilian! It’s not like she has some kind of expertise that’s required for this mission, her job is to put the damn command key or whatever it’s called into the ship! And she screws it up! One of the other “characters” ends up doing it, and the plane carrying the ship crashes into the other part of the world engine. But not before Lois conveniently falls off of the plane to her safety. And somehow she’s managing to fall even though the wormhole to the Phantom Zone is sucking up debris from the ground.

Zod showed up in the scout ship during that scene, not that it amounted to anything. Supes just knocked the ship to the ground, destroying the cloning chambers. Supes saves Lois, they almost celebrate, and then we see Zod’s still alive. Now it’s time for the great big superhero/supervillain battle! I’d be excited, if it weren’t as horribly disappointing as the last Kryptonian fight. Skipping to the end, Zod and Supes are in a train station or something, and Zod decides to try and heat vision some civilians to death. Why there are still people around, even though Metropolis has been getting obliterated for what must have been at least an hour, I have no idea, but they’re there. Supes is of course grappling with Zod, trying to save the people, but he can’t quite keep Zod’s death gaze from them. So he snaps Zod’s neck.

Eyup. Superman kills Zod.

This was another major complaint about the movie I heard, and I am in full agreement. This is a betrayal of the character’s core. Superman does not kill people. Especially not when there are simple alternatives! Fly upwards you idiot! Cover Zod’s eyes with your hand! Punch him in the dick! Any of those would’ve been better than snapping his neck! I don’t know what the hell they would do with him after, but I’m sure they could pull something out of their asses. Why not, they already pulled more than two hours worth of shitty film out, why stop there?

After that, we see Supes bring down a drone and tell one of the military guys to stop trying to find out who he is. Even though it should be really freaking easy to do so. Lois managed it without much difficulty, and she didn’t have half the resources that the government does. The film ends with Clark starting his job at the Daily Planet.

I said it before, and I’ll say it again; this film is drivel. The plot has more holes than a sieve, and suffers from the random ass flashbacks peppered throughout the middle. I didn’t even get into half of the ones I spotted, because I didn’t want this review to be ten thousand words long. The acting is almost non-existent, and most of the characters exist solely to deliver plot exposition. The visuals are just god-awful, with effects that are less believable than any I’ve seen in a comic film within the last decade. When a giant, green rage monster looks more believable than two human looking people fighting, you’re doing something terribly wrong. Beyond that though, the film suffers from a serious lack of color. It’s not as bad as I remembered it, but it’s still bad, with the only bright patches being natural elements, and Superman himself. All of these visual problems are accentuated by the lousy cinematography at play. It feels so inconsistent, one moment it’s going for shakey-cam style crap, the next a more traditional sort of style. The film tries to convey a sense of allegory, but the lack of subtlety or finesse with the execution just makes it come off as dumb and preachy, telling the audience what we should think, instead of letting us think for ourselves. Ironic considering how that was one of the reasons Jor El wanted to have an actual son. Finally, as an adaptation, this is just pure crap. It is completely devoid of the spirit of the character, instead focusing on trying to make things “realistic.” There is no sense of fun or hope to be found within, and I find it laughable that they wanted to make it seem as if there was. This film has squashed any enthusiasm I may have had for the planned DC cinematic universe. Unless I hear overwhelmingly positive reviews of Dawn of Justice, I have no intention of seeing that.

Next week, I’ll be looking at another adaptation, though a far better one than this. Until then, take care! And for those celebrating it, have a happy Thanksgiving!

Superior Spider-Man, #14-16

Greetings once again, citizens! This week, we continue our look at Superior Spider-Man, with issues 14-16. The series was only 31 issues long (technically 33, but I don’t know if I’ll do the last two or not), so this marks the half-way point in the overall review!

Let’s start with the cover. This cover isn’t especially good, but it’s still better than some of the early ones. It’s just Spidey swinging from some webs with a bunch of guys in a matching uniform in the background. Actually, the goggles that everyone’s wearing make them remind me of the Monarch’s henchmen from Venture Bros.

The only other noteworthy thing to point is that this is the first time we see Spidey’s new outfit. I kinda glossed over it in the last review, but while Spidey was on the phone with Goons R Us, he also ordered a new outfit for himself. I like this one more actually. There’s less red to it, making the parts that are red stand out even more, like the small touches on his hands and feet. The larger spider symbol is also neat. Not sure if it’s intentional or not, but it makes me think of Eddie Brock as Venom, who was supposed to be kind of an evil opposite of Spider-Man, which works giving Ock’s own inclination to darkness. The black eyes finish off the suit, once again adding to the darker tone of the suit, but also keeping the color scheme down to two colors, making it more consistent.

Anyway, the issue opens with a man narrating to himself. He lives in Hell’s Kitchen, in the same neighborhood as the Kingpin’s fortress, Shadowland. The Kingpin, for anyone unfamiliar with him, is one of the major lords of organized crime in New York. He’s run afoul of a few different heroes, most notably Spidey and Daredevil. I find it kind of odd just how many superheroes there are in New York, and yet so few seem to give a damn about gangs.

We jump to what’s going on inside of Shadowland, where Kingpin is going over the situation in New York with his minions. If you recall, back in issue #10, we saw that Spider-Man took down the heads of three different crime families. Kingpin’s talking about taking over their territory, in order to expand his empire. And then Spidey’s voice is heard, saying that Kingpin’s going down. Kingpin throws open his giant door to see what in the hell Spider-Man is doing, and he sees this:

Yyyyep. Spidey’s piloting a mech and has an army of minions with him. Now’s probably the time to talk about this, the whole minions and mechs thing. Spidey is displaying behavior much more in line with a supervillain. And honestly… I like this idea. Sure, it’s not traditional superheroing, but so what? It’s a good idea. The heavy hardware like the spider tank things is good for situations like this, taking down an evil lair or other suitably large thing. The minions themselves can be utilized for crowd control with civilians, countering the villain’s goons, operations that require a wide area to be covered, etc etc. I can understand why other heroes don’t do that, since equipping underlings and paying them to do all this crazy stuff is prohibitively expensive, and there’s also a high level of cooperation with local authorities required. Spidey’s still got access to his accounts from back when he was Doc Ock, so the money is taken care of. Jameson’s being blackmailed to more or less give Spidey free license to do as he pleases, so the “cooperation” is taken care of.

Anyway, the two sides fight, with Kingpin and Hobgoblin trying to escape. We also get to see a new addition to the Spider suit: cybernetic appendages. I personally think they’re really neat, not to mention useful. It’s strange that nobody seems to think that this is odd though. I mean, Spidey was fighting Doc Ock for years and never bothered getting his own, but now that Ock is “dead” he gets a set of his own? This should stick out as weird. Or maybe everyone just thinks Spidey was afraid that Ock would sue him for infringing on his shtick.

But back with Kingpin and Hobgoblin, they head deep into the base in spite of the danger, and we see… the Kingpin?

Well, sort of. Turns out Kingpin took a guy, turned him into a genetic duplicate, and also altered his teeth to match Kingpin’s. Y’know, so that he could kill him and fake his own death, like he does here. After making sure his double is dead, he makes his way to a one-man sub. Hobgoblin realizes that he’s on his own and clears out. On his way out though, he runs into a Spider-bot. He’s about to destroy the thing, when he notices that it just ignores him. Turns out that Hobgoblin’s mask lets him take advantage of the Goblin protocol that the Green Goblin installed in the Spider-bots.

So Shadowland is utterly destroyed, and Spidey goes out to make a grand display for the citizens of the neighborhood, talking about how awesome he is, and also how awesome Jameson is. We see the man who was narrating at the beginning talking to Spidey, and thanking him.

However, things aren’t as rosy as they seem. The next day, we see a drug dealer in the neighborhood, bearing the mark of the Goblin that we’ve seen back in issue #10. We also see an assembly of a bunch of the Goblin’s minions, now including some of the ones that Kingpin had among them. Gobby declares that 52% of organized crime in the city is now run by him, making him the new kingpin of crime. The issue ends with a splash page showing the Goblin laughing over a shot of the city.

Issue #15’s cover’s actually not bad. It’s an action scene, showing Spidey and Hobgoblin fighting. My only real complaint is that the setting seems more like the fight from the last issue, instead of what actually happens in this one. But it’s still pretty good looking, making the issue seem exciting.

We open with Hobgoblin, still on the run from the previous issue entering an antique shop, run by the Tinkerer. The Tinkerer is one of those guys who supplies gadgetry to supervillains who aren’t technological geniuses. Hobby’s come in to get maintenance on his stuff, and some more bombs. Tinkerer passes the job off to a guy working for him, Tiberius Stone. There’s a backstory about Tiberius Stone, but unfortunately I couldn’t find any info about it. He was apparently hiding from Kingpin, but with Kingpin gone he can leave. However, he’s also got a beef with Hobgoblin, so he decides to do this last job for the Tinkerer, and also work on a little revenge while he’s got a chance. He’s got a few more people on his revenge list too, but I’ll get into that another time.

So what’s Spidey up to? He and his men are digging through the wreckage of Shadowland, trying to find the bodies of Kingpin and Hobgoblin. Because the ninjas that Kingpin had don’t actually leave remains, they just need to find some remains. Carlie Cooper and Captain Watanabe are also there, incredulous that Spidey did this. They argue a bit about whether this was right or not, with Captain Watanabe using the “might makes right” quote, but Spidey countering with the whole “great power” one, showing a gross misunderstanding of what that actually means. It doesn’t just mean using your power for the benefit of others, but also using the power in a responsible manner, showing restraint. That’s an underlying conflict of the whole series, and one that I really like. I could go on about it for another thousand words or so, but I think I’d lose half my audience if I started acting like I was Alan Shore.

Anyway, they find a body, and declare that it’s Kingpin. From what we get to see of it though, it looks like it could be either. Maybe the characters can get a better look, but it’s too morbid to actually have in the comic. After that’s found, Spidey swings off. Captain Watanabe and Carlie talk, discussing their investigation into Spidey not being the real Spidey.

We cut back to the Hobgoblin, or rather his alter ego, Phil Urich. Phil Urich’s had something of a weird history as a character. He started out as a heroic version of the Green Goblin back in the mid 90’s. He unfortunately later became a villain, killing the guy going by Hobgoblin at the time. He’s currently renting the name of Hobgoblin from the original one, an idea that I believe I talked about before. He’s also currently working at the Daily Bugle, where we see him selling the footage of the Shadowland battle. Afterwards, we see him in his kitchen, where he gets a call from the original Hobgoblin, Roderick Kingsley. Kingsley’s wondering where the rent for this month is, but Urich says he’s short. Kingsley points out the obvious, and says that Urich can rob a freaking bank if he needs money.

We get a splash page, showing off Urich’s one-man crime spree along the top of the page, and Spidey being unable to catch him, since his Spider-bots don’t recognize Hobgoblin. Urich complains about how being a criminal has become a job, and not even a pleasant one, which I just find kind of funny.

Stepping away from recapping for a moment, I want to talk about the artwork. Most of the comments I’ve made about Humberto Ramos’ artwork have not been positive, which I feel kind of bad about. While the stylization that Ramos has in his artwork is not exactly my cup of tea, he is a good artist. He’s certainly a lot better than some of the other artists I’ve seen who still get work. I bring this up because after the splash page, we get a scene of Peter brooding within Spider Island, and it is really well done.

Peter’s expression is an excellent mixture of frustration, weariness and introspection, perfectly reflecting Peter’s thoughts in this scene. His chair also has a bunch of cables attached to it, really making it seem like he’s sitting at the center of a web. In addition to the pencils, I’ve got to give credit to Victor Olazaba and Edgar Delgado, the inker and colorist respectively. The heavy shadows and red tint to everything lends to the thoughts that Peter’s having.

What thoughts are those? Well, frustration at not being able to catch Hobgoblin, of course. He muses about how he feels that perhaps the reason he’s not had success is because of his dual lifestyle. He ponders maybe devoting himself fully to being Spider-Man, and abandoning the life of Peter Parker. He asks himself if anything of value would truly be lost, when Anna Maria calls, wondering where he’s been.

We cut away from the potentially tender moment to some more plot advancement. Underneath of New York, we see the Green Goblin talking with someone about the Hobgoblin situation. Interesting thing to note is that Gobby’s not in costume when we first see him, but we don’t get to see his face, so it’s not clear exactly which Green Goblin we’re dealing with. Anyway, he gives an order to have his people lie low for a bit, so that he can deactivate the Goblin protocols. He’s deactivating them because he’s worried that Urich’s exploits might cause Spidey to take a look at the Spider-bots, meaning he might notice the additional programming.

Back to Peter, who’s in a meeting with Dr. Lamaze, the school’s chancellor, and Anna Maria. He’s told that, in spite of his frequent absences, he’ll be receiving full credit for his class, meaning that the only thing he has left to do for his PhD is his thesis. He gets out of the meeting, saying that it went better than usual. Anna Maria points out that it went better because his phone didn’t go off during it. Or rather it did, but Anna Maria picked his pocket for it earlier. He actually doesn’t seem too upset by this, but that could just be because it’s Anna Maria. But he still needs to attend to the alert he’s getting, and thus runs off.

Back to the Hobgoblin, we see him robbing a check-cashing place, saying that this job will finally pay the rest of his bills. We also see Tiberius Stone watching, while looking at- is that a Pokédex?

No time to dwell on that, because Spidey swings in! He and Hobgoblin begin to fight, but Stone uses his Pokédex to screw with Hobgoblin’s equipment. Hobgoblin decides to run like hell, getting away from Spidey long enough to ditch most of his gear, which had tracers on it. Urich then rushes to the Bugle, trying to get an advance for more Hobgoblin footage. He’s clearly not thinking straight, since he needs the money in order to replace the gear he lost, which is probably going to cost a hell of a lot more than he’ll get for any footage. Spidey’s using the tracers to listen in on him, but can’t quite pinpoint his location. So what does he do?

He announces to the people of New York who Hobgoblin is, showing a picture of him, and asking for them to call a tip line if they see him, and the issue ends with everyone in the Bugle staring at Urich

We yet again have a decent, if misleading cover. Hobgoblin run through with his energy sword is pretty neat looking, though he never actually ends up getting aerated like that. Though if he did, it wouldn’t be terribly surprising, given how Spidey dealt with Massacre and Smythe.

The issue opens where we left off in the previous one; Inside the Bugle with people staring at Urich, and Spidey on the TV. The people Urich is closest to at the Bugle start talking to him, and trying to keep the situation under control. Urich is definitely feeling the pressure though, and he develops a case of the giggles as the cops show up outside.

Meanwhile, Spidey’s able to pinpoint where Urich’s hiding out and orders his nearest team of minions to the spot, but we see one of them getting abducted by some purple ribbons. While that’s happening, Spidey slips into the Bugle through a window. Urich, being a desperate fool, decides to whip out his energy sword and hold Norah Winters hostage. Norah’s is Urich’s girlfriend, by the way. What a class act, our Hobgoblin.

We cut away from that in order to build tension- I mean, to see what’s going on with that minion who got abducted. The vigilante The Wraith, secretly Captain Watanabe, is questioning him. She interrogates him about how he’s being paid and such, giving her and Carlie a lead to continue their investigation.

Back at the hostage situation, Norah proves that she’s something of a badass by rescuing herself from her dick of a boyfriend. Before Spidey can apprehend him though, Urich lets loose a sonic scream, hurting everyone in the area. He stops however, when he sees his uncle being harmed. Spidey then tackles him through a window, and out into the streets where Urich sees his face on every TV screen in view, realizing his life is ruined.

And back to the Green Goblin. He’s intrigued by how much Hobgoblin’s gotten under Spidey’s skin, so he sends a minion out to get him, a woman called Menace.

But enough of that, back to the action! Urich’s surrounded by police, and we see some of Spidey’s mechs hanging around in the background. Urich knows he’s beaten, so he drops the sword. Spidey is still “worried” about the sonic scream, so he picks up the sword, musing that there must be some way he could prevent the scream from escaping Urich’s throat. But before he can act on that, he gets a call from Captain America. Cap is concerned by his overtly villainous behavior, saying that they need to have a chat. Spidey deactivates the sword, and takes this opportunity to defuse all the questions about his personal army, by congratulating the citizens of New York on their vigilance and what not. Urich is taken into custody, looking exceptionally haggard by the experience.

He’s not in custody for long though. Before his transport gets very far, it’s taken out by Menace, who takes her back to the tunnels beneath New York. He’s given the opportunity to join up with Gobby, being given new gear, a new costume, and even a new name. The issue ends with us being introduced to the Goblin Knight.

Overall, these issues are pretty good. We get a lot more advancement of some of the background plots that have been going on up to this point, like Carlie’s investigation and the Green Goblin’s criminal empire. Now that Spidey’s no longer burdened by Ghost-Pete hanging around, he’s indulging more in some of his old habits. It’s an interesting way of approaching the business of being a superhero, and not necessarily a bad one. I actually think that it’s pretty cool, not to mention useful for some situations. The problem lies in Spidey not showing restraint. I would’ve liked to see more of a struggle with him trying to restrain himself, but at the same time, his arrogance is one of the reasons I like reading the character. I find arrogance to be an entertaining trait for characters to have, possibly because it’s something so very different from how I act.

So, that's all for this week! Join me next week, as I take a look at something much less pleasant. Until then, fare thee well!

Superior Spider-Man #11-13

Greetings once again, citizens! Well, it’s that time again. Time for us to continue looking back on Superior Spider-Man. This time we’re examining issues 11 – 13, so let’s get to it!

I’m going to be endeavoring to talk about covers more, since I’ve been thinking about their importance more lately. This one isn’t as boring as some of the others, but it’s also not great. Spidey trapped in a cage made of webbing is interesting, but the black void that he’s suspended in makes it seem more like it’s supposed to represent his mind or soul or something metaphysical. That would be an interesting sort of cover, if Spidey was dealing with identity issues or something along those lines. How are the webs staying that rigid anyway? Wouldn’t they form more of a net? And some of those gaps look large enough for him to slip through. This cage sucks.

The issue starts off with Peter in class, bored half to death and day dreaming, before getting stirred from his reverie by Dr. Lamaze. Anna Marie asks Peter why he even bothers to show up when he can ace the class just by showing up to take the tests, but he says he does get something out of it, giving her a look. He gets a call from Mayor Jameson, asking Spidey to be present for the execution of Alistair Smythe, the Spider Slayer. Smythe’s been a recurring Spider-Man villain for decades, and during a scheme a few years ago he killed Jameson’s wife. Jameson is understandably still quite upset at this, since real time and comic time are completely different. Even if they weren’t, I don’t think I’d stop being upset at a man who had killed my wife even after a few decades. Anyway, Jameson wants Spidey there in order to foil any escape plan Smythe might have. After getting off the phone, Jameson goes to the Raft in order to inspect the place, since it’s being shut down. We see some prisoners being loaded onto a boat for transport elsewhere, and we also see… Zerglings?

Oh my god, Smythe has formed and alliance with the zerg! No, they’re actually just robots Smythe created, infiltrating the Raft for Smythe’s daring escape plan, which he’s going to enact tomorrow. Um, Smythe, if you have your little bots here right now, then why not just enact your escape plan now? Do really want your last meal that badly?

Anyway, we see that while most of the prisoners have been transported to elsewhere, there are a few other prisoners still around. Specifically, they’re the ones who have been severely injured by Spidey. Vulture’s there, with bandages over what used to be his eyes. Boomerang is also there, lying around in a full body cast. Scorpion’s also there, which confused me at first. It turns out that Scorpion was actually injured before Ock did the whole mind-swap thing by the real Peter, who punched off Scorpion’s jaw.

Let’s check back in on Peter, who’s overseeing a bunch of equipment from Horizon Labs being transported. Max Modell once again gets into it with Pete about how he’s a loose cannon who’s not playing by the rules, why Peter mentally talks about how frustrating it is having his genius shackled by the restraints others place on him. He also gets into how the real Pete’s masochistic tendencies always led him to going about his work as Spider-Man the hard way, which seems like a fair criticism, actually. While he’s doing this, we see him sending a bunch of his Spider-bots to the Raft, where the equipment from Horizon was being sent, followed by his own arrival as Spider-Man. He oversees some of the work that his bots and technicians are doing with the equipment he had delivered before going to see Smythe. And by “see Smythe” I mean “go see his old cell and completely undercut the drama that Smythe was trying to build between them by ignoring him.” I’m serious, Smythe keeps trying to taunt him, but Spidey just kinda ignores him while taking a trip down memory lane. Oh, and we see Lizard there too. Why hasn’t Lizard been moved yet? Good question. The other guys were all in critical condition, requiring specialized transports, but Lizard seems fine. I’ll grant that he’s not exactly your average prisoner, but this is the Raft! They damn well ought to have transports designed for super powered criminals, since holding such individuals is their primary job!

The following day, it’s time for the execution. Jameson is there, of course, along with his secretary Glory Grant, and Norah Winters, a reporter from The Daily Bugle. In addition to the mayor’s entourage, Spidey is of course there, along with Smythe’s lawyer who tries to have Jameson removed. Smythe tells them to stop fighting, that he’s a man of God now and all that jazz. Spidey expresses his skepticism that a criminal like that would ever become redeemed, but stops himself as he realizes the hypocrisy of his statement. I actually really like this, because it’s one of the first times we’ve actually seen the new Peter express doubt over what he’s been doing. It’s a short little character moment that really works with the overall narrative.

Just before the lethal injection is administered to Smythe, the witnesses get to experience a zerg rush.

The zerglings cause a bit of havoc, attacking everyone and also swarming over Smythe, transforming into armor. Spidey initiates his counter-plan, having the Spider-bots come out and start fighting the zerglings, while he goes after Smythe. Smythe doesn’t really bother with trying to fight Spidey, instead attempting to flee. Smart thinking, but it proves pointless, as Spidey has turned the Raft into the Tomb of Horrors, with all possible escape routes being booby-trapped. Smythe realizes that his only way out is to fight Spidey, which he has planned for. We cut over to the medical area, where Vulture, Boomerang and Scorpion are still, and they’re being swarmed by the zerglings as well. The zerglings do what they did with Smythe, forming cybernetic armor over them, making them well enough to get in on the action, which is where the issue ends.

The cover for issue #12 is better than most of the other ones for the series up to this point, featuring an action scene of Scorpion, Boomerang, and Vulture are all attacking Spidey. Or rather, Scorpion is attacking Spidey, Boomerang is about to throw a comically oversized boomerang at him, and Vulture’s just kinda flying around in the back. Way to contribute, Vulture.

The issue opens on a flashback by Jameson of his wife’s death, while he muses about how he should have been the one to die, and how he’ll make sure Smythe gets what he is due. We see the aftermath of Smythe’s attack on Jameson and the others, with the room wrecked, and people injured but mostly fine. Smythe’s lawyer starts on about how this is Jameson’s fault, but good ol’ J.J just punches him out. The Spider-bots then surround everyone and project a hologram of Spidey, saying that the bots will form a force field around everyone to keep them safe. Jameson’s not interested in sitting on his ass, so he runs off just before the field goes up. We see Jameson picking up a gun from one of the fallen guards, swearing that Smythe will pay.

But enough of Jameson’s badassness for the moment, what’s Spidey up to? Fighting with Smythe of course. The action’s not bad, nor is the dialogue, though Spidey does slip up and let Smythe in on the fact that all of the countermeasures that he created are being powered by the Raft’s own power grid, meaning they can be shut down if Smythe takes out the generators. He gets the upper hand on Spidey for a moment, and is about to kill him, when Jameson arrives to save the day, clad in the armor of one of the fallen guards. Smythe uses Spidey as a projectile, allowing him to flee. Jameson helps Spidey regain his senses, and then explicitly tells him that he wants Smythe dead. Spidey says he’ll make sure that Smythe’s sentence is carried out, and advises Jameson to go back to the others, while he chases after Smythe.

The chase doesn’t last long though, as the other three villains ambush Spidey. They go on about how they hate Spidey, and how the toys Smythe gave them are so cool, and Smythe takes out the power. This has the side effect of freeing Lizard. Why didn’t Smythe try recruiting him? He was desperate enough for help to get Vulture and Boomerang, why not also try and get Lizard? Does he have some kind of thing against reptilians? Anyway, with the power gone, Smythe attempts to flee, only to find the traps are still active. Spidey played Smythe, knowing that the Raft has multiple backups that can’t be sabotaged nearly so easily. Smythe gets really pissed, sending Scorpion off to take care of Jameson, and Vulture to take out the others, leaving Boomerang to take on Spidey on his own. Spidey’s able to make quick work of Boomerang by webbing up some “bomb-a-rangs” to Boomerang’s hands before he can finish throwing them. Smythe’s unimpressed, saying that Spidey’s still too busy to be able to recapture him, but Spidey just scoffs saying that the only thing that matters is taking him down, ending the issue.

Issue #13’s cover is also better than average, with Spidey and Lizard back to back, and the Three Stooges more or less in silhouette behind them. It does hint at what’s to look forward to in the comic, and also has a “what in the…?” sort of feel, because Lizard is a villain. Sort of. He flip-flops, from what I’ve read. He looks pretty monstrous though, so even a new reader unfamiliar with the character would be intrigued as to why Spidey’s not fighting him.

We begin with Spidey still hunting down Smythe, while Smythe tries to bargain with him. Spidey’s not having any of it though, finding Smythe and once again attacking him.

Meanwhile, Vulture’s arrived at the force field protecting the civilians. He’s able to figure out that it can be taken down, if he takes out the Spider-bots. He starts doing that, but the civilians start trying to bargain with him. Glory Grant, a couple of people from the district attorney’s office, and Smythe’s lawyer all say that they’d be able to get him off for his past infractions, if he can help them out now. The warden for the Raft whispers to his men to blast him as soon as the field goes down though, because he’s kind of a dick (which we’ve been seeing bits of earlier, I just kinda glossed over them because they’re more or less irrelevant).

Also meanwhile, Scorpion finds Jameson, and the two fight for a moment, though Jameson’s gun doesn’t even scratch Scorpion’s shiny new suit. He’s about to kill Jameson, when Lizard arrives, and he seems to be in Dr. Curtis Connors mode, so he’s a good guy.

Back to Spidey and Smythe, Spidey manages to rip off one of Smythe’s stabby-tentacle-things, and Smythe surrenders. He goes on about how there’s innocent lives at stake, and how as the hero, Spidey needs to negotiate with him for their safety, all with a shit-eating-grin on his face. Spidey agrees, and gives him his opening offer.

Spidey drives a hard bargain, but it looks like Smythe accepts! He says that negotiating with Smythe would be stupid, since he’s a treacherous bastard and can’t be trusted half as far as Spidey could kick him. We then see that the suits of the other three villains have all fallen apart with Smythe dead, leaving Scorpion in desperate need of medical attention (which Jameson’s not inclined to give him), Vulture blind again, and Boomerang… surprisingly okay, though Spidey swings past him and webs him up. Vulture gets tased by the warden, Jameson returns and tells everyone how Lizard’s a good guy, and Spidey returns to check up on everyone and open the doors.

Once they get outside, everyone breathes in the fresh air and heaves a sigh of relief. Except the warden, who insists on putting restraints on Lizard. The celebration is cut short though, because Smythe emerges from a grate in the ground! Apparently, though his body is dead, his consciousness still has a few moments left, being contained within the cybernetic armor. He stabs Lizard and kills the warden, but Spidey grapples him before he can do any more harm. But this is exactly what Smythe wanted. He wraps some tentacles around Spidey’s face, saying that he’s going to transfer his consciousness into Spidey’s body. However, the tentacles are foiled by metal plating beneath Spidey’s mask. Spidey tells him how he’s Otto Octavius, and he already did this trick. Smythe barely has time to process this fact before he dies.

On the way back to shore, Spidey takes Jameson aside for a moment to talk about the Raft. Spidey suggests Jameson give it to him, to use as a base of operations. Jameson tells him to piss off, but in more friendly terms. Spidey says that’s a shame, and then has one of his Spider-bots replay the moment when Jameson was telling Spidey to kill Smythe. Yeah… he’s blackmailing Jameson. This is another one of those moments where I don’t really agree with what he’s doing. I really like Superior Spider-Man, and do feel that Ock was a better Spider-Man than Peter is, but I don’t agree with everything he did. I understand why he did those things, but I don’t condone them.

Anyway, Jameson announces that he’s giving Spidey the island in a press conference. Spidey then begins narrating about how he’s building a new legacy for himself, while he’s working on something at the Raft (renamed to Spider Island II). He’s also ordering some minions from someone over the phone. Is there seriously like an agency you can go through to hire henchmen? That’s… kind of weird, and takes some of the mystique out of supervillainy, if they have a job placement agency. Certainly explains where they keep getting those guys though.

Anyway, that wraps up this little storyline, and another chapter in Superior Spider-Man. As I said, I don’t necessarily agree with everything Spidey does in these issues. Killing Smythe I’m not as bothered by, since he was going to be executed anyway, but the blackmail I can’t quite get behind, even if I do like the results of it. The action is all pretty good in these issues, with no outstanding artistic failures or problems with sequencing. The writing is good, as always, though I do wonder why Smythe didn’t enact his escape plan a bit earlier. Spidey does say that only a few of the zerglings got smuggled in, and then replicated themselves using the materials of the Raft, so I guess that’s it. My only real complaint is that we don’t see anything touching on the background plots that are running in the series, but then again, including those might’ve interrupted the flow.

Join me next week, for another look at the Superior Spider-Man! Until then, citizens!